Hey there, Superstars,
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On June 1 last year, I hit a brick wall. Little did I know what I would learn in hitting that wall was about to change my business. Dramatically. So now that we are hitting that exact date, and this year’s “halftime,” I want to share with you this thing, this lesson, that has been a tremendous help to me, and not JUST in business – but in all manners of situations.
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It’s simple, but at the same time it’s very complicated, or rather -harder than it seems.
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The wall I hit in June 1, 2022 was the wall of overwhelm and overwork. Many of you know it. And on June 1, 2022, I hit my personal limit, and my team’s personal limit. We had onboarded too many people and became victims of our own success. Now, don’t you worry – this was met with our instant and massive upleveling, and we did not falter in delivering exceptional coaching and white glove service in a single instant. But it cost me – I was exhausted, and I took no breaks, and my team was as stretched as they could go. So, we did not only what we had to do, but what we NEEDED to do: WE GREW UP.
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I created a whole training on the 5 steps we took as a business, which YOU can take as a business founder and/ or leader in your life, which has been a megawatt hit since its debut in November of 2022. If you’d like to enjoy that, watch this space for the next time we open the training. In the meantime, I will share with you that ONE lesson – the biggest of things that changed MY game and did the ALL the growing up.
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It was a word and the word is BOUNDARIES.
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Boundaries is knowing what is right, and what is right for you – and doing that.
Boundaries is knowing what is WRONG, and what is wrong for you – and saying no to that.
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No, that fee does not work for us.
No, we will not work with you on those terms.
No, we will not accept any form of shaming.
No, we will not accept anything less than 100% commitment.
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And one of my favorites in particular, one that I gleamed from a great talk given by the one and only Kim Catrall:
“No, I don’t want to be in a situation for a moment that is not enjoyable.”
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This is so liberating, yet – SO hard to do! Especially if you are a woman or minority, like me, that word means you are risking appearing unlikeable (I would say “defiant,” or “assertive,” which are both elegant and empowering words, but let’s be honest – those words are often code for “UNLIKEABLE”).
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This is why the concept of boundaries is has such difficulty for many traveling from the brain to the mouth and to your action. It is the CONFLATION of boundaries – a solid, integral and unquestionable element of self-compassion and integrity (per Brene Brown and Kristin Neff’s extensive research) with “selfishness” that keeps boundaries inactive, and in their stead, a pile of exhausted, stunted superstars. This is a false equivalency of the worst kind, and I leave you with this episode of Coached, “How to Have Better Boundaries: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-have-better-boundaries/id1467079024?i=1000511548560,” to break down the difference for you.
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Once you accept that to rise means BOUNDARIES OF STEEL – you will embrace them, and in so doing allow your creativity, your goals and your compassion for others (literally, your tolerance and understanding of the boundaries of others) to FLOW.
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Boundaries mark the acceptance of your own new level. No longer will you behave like a person who plays small, aims to please and worries about or is terrified of the opinions of others. And, you will continue to rise, without sacrifice or compromise and with more integrity, ease and joy.
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If you are struggling here, join me for a clarity call and let’s talk about coaching and YOUR next level.
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To your clear YES-es and No-s.
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– Keren
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