If you have been feeling like you have lost momentum and are just knocked out this year, you are not alone.
Obviously, Covid has been a cloud above all our heads – as have other major global and political events. But it’s also true for many that striving towards a goal has been taking longer than expected, with less impressive results that were expected. And in the background, it can also be mentioned that living in a “hustle” culture comes with a heaping dose of burn-out. It’s just…a thing with which many of us live.
The secret, if this is your current state, is not to DO more, nor to WORK harder. That will make it worse and tends to create unwanted results.
Instead, do the opposite – DO LESS. Take a pause and try to lighten your mood, so you can recharge and see the path ahead more clearly.
Maybe that’s resonating with you. In case it is, this week’s “5 things” are all for you, as they will help you to gather your thoughts and feel happier, so you can get back to it and make things move more swiftly.
1. Get back to basics. Whenever I feel knocked out, it’s usually because I have been outpacing myself. What that means is, I have let my expectations get too far ahead of where I am, which then leads to miscalculation of how much time the goal or project will require, which leads to frustration. What I always do when this happens is GET BACK TO BASICS in terms of spiritual practice. Because if I am frustrated, or exhausted – I am simply not connected to myself and to my why. It is simply that I have given in to the “noise.”
The basics are, therefore:
- Shut off the noise. Go somewhere quiet. Go outside and sit in the sun. Turn off your phone for 3 hours. Take a nap.
- Meditate.
- Read the spiritual gym “level 1” books. If you are a fan of the self-help genre, you have yours, certainly. Mine are: The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven R Covey, and Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It. I’ve even made a video with these top recos, categorizing them by area of interest. In case you’d like to check it out, here’s the link.
2. Decide to not be UN-happy. It’s easy to succumb to the blues that come with feelings of not getting ahead, and it’s natural. However, it is not useful.
For a long time, I have followed “How to Build a Life” – a weekly column by Arthur Brooks in THE ATLANTIC, tackling questions of meaning and happiness.
He is awesome, and his latest article in the series makes this very point. I don’t really want to spoil it for you, but in a nutshell -it makes a great case for not acting unhappy and even not accepting the doom and gloom. If you are in a space where you can heed this advice and implement it, then I highly recommend this as an excellent read with terrific action items you can take right away: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/06/happiness-guilt-cherophobia/619078/
3. Hang out with your high vibe tribe. C.S. Lewis once wrote: “Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too?
He was spot-on. Friends are validating and comforting sounding boards who, when we are able to be vulnerable with them, will help you bounce right back up because it is IMPOSSIBLE to stay down when you are enveloped in empathy and good cheer. However: friendships require work and reaching out.
So: If you’ve been hitting the proverbial wall, why not make a conscious effort, call your friends and organize a meet-up? You can make it fun in original ways that are meaningful to you. For example, my best friend came over last weekend and we just sat together and watched “Cruella” on Disney + (PS: it was awesome – the movie, the company, the whole thing).
Tap into the comfort and inspiration that are offered by the people all around you and you will feel renewed.
4. Speaking of which, I also always recommend tuning out and recharging by watching something funny when you are weary. For many of us, it’s hard to shut the brain down and therefore all too easy to get sucked into a cloud of doom and gloom. When I have been extremely sad, for instance when a close friend or relative has died, I found all the above not only hard – but annoying.
The only thing I have not found annoying? Comedy. I can watch “Frasier,” reruns forever, and probably will. Currently, I love “Hacks,” on HBO. I can’t wait for the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to come back later this year. Really, any form of well-written comedy will do.
Now, if it’s not your genre, that’s fine. Just immerse yourself in yours – as long as it is NOT sad. Sad television, sad music, and sad movies will make you feel 10x worse. Per above, there’s nothing wrong with the penchant to add doom and gloom to weariness, but it’s simply not helpful for most people.
5. Finally, when you are ready *(you know what’s coming) – GET BACK TO IT. Make the million-dollar decision to do what you have NOT done yet and consider coaching. Think about it: OLD WAYS don’t open NEW DOORS. Why not really understand what’s in your way and approach things in a new way next?
In fact, this 5th point is the one that way back when changed MY life and set me on this path. Personal Coaching: the coolest journey on the planet.
For you, I am holding breakthrough consultations through June 25th and would love to speak with you about what you think is holding you back and what you can do about it. Schedule your consultation here: https://calendly.com/kereneldad
You never know, it might just change your life.
This is a perfect way to end the email because you know what? Each time I have, so to speak, “hit a wall,” it ALWAYS led to proper reflection and readjustment, which always led to greater and faster growth. It’s like each setback was a set UP, a slingshot, towards the next level.
I hope the message fills you with hope, too. And I really hope to see you in coaching.