Many people want to take a stab at a different life – the one that could have been, the they they could have become. This is a rather common feeling among superstars traversing middle-age. Perhaps you have felt this, too. Maybe you’re feeling this now. If you are/ have…
Instead of sinking into regret (or worse, victimhood – blaming others and circumstances for our stunted dreams) which gets us nowhere, try inspiration.
This weekend, my husband, Ryan, came home with a huge helping of just that, plus some leftover brisket he’s sinking his teeth into as we speak. Along with my brother in law, Ben, and their friend, Amir, Ryan made the trip from our home in Austin, Texas to the city of Lexington, Texas – about an hour and a half away. The trio left at 4:45 AM, and drove all that way to get to eat at Snow’s – Texas Monthly‘s best barbecue place in Texas several years in a row, and specifically, on SATURDAY, to get to eat the barbecue delectable offerings of one Norma Frances “Tootsie” Tomanetz – known as Ms. Tootsie.
When they came home, each one raved about the food, and about meeting her, as if they were three children coming back from having visited Disneyworld for the first time. I’d never heard of Ms. Tootsie before, and perhaps you haven’t – but her story is worth knowing.
Ms. Tootise, who was born is 1935, is 87 years old – and at 87, is the pitmaster at Snow’s BBQ. In 2020 – already 84, she rose to fame when she was featured in the first episode of the seventh season of Chef’s Table, titled Chef’s Table: BBQ (aired: September 2, 2020).
It was then when the nation learned what a culinary genius she is, and also her backstory. Ms. Tootsie married Edward “White” Tomanetz in July 1956. They had three children, Patricia, Dale, and Hershey. In 1966, at the age of 31, she joined White at City Meat Market in Giddings to help out, managing the pit there. With time, she ended up running the place for many years, until the married couple bought the City Meat Market.
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Ms. Tootsie Tomanetz
Sadly, in 1996, tragedy struck: White suffered a stroke, and they/ she was forced to sell the Market and for several years thereafter focused on caring for her husband until he recovered enough to regain some independence. To support him, she joined the maintenance department at the local high school in 1998. To this day, Ms. Tootsie, works during the week at Giddings High School as a janitor. In 2003, she also went to work with Kerry Bexley and helped him to open Snow’s BBQ – working every Saturday: barbecue day and caring for her husband until his passing in 2015.
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The Pit at Snow’s BBQ
At the age of 87, Ms. Tootsie is still running on her passion as head chef at Snow’s, waking up at 1 am on Saturday mornings to get ready for the Saturday rush – a line in which Ryan waited for more than four hours, just for a chance to sample her brisket and to tell her how much he admired her in person, which he was so proud to share with me when he got home.
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Ms. Tootsie Tomanetz – Center, flanked by Amir (left) and my brother in law, Ben (right)
As I have learned, the accolades have not only poured in from devoted fans. Ms. Tootise Tomanetz is a two-time James Beard Award semifinalist and she was inducted into the Barbecue Hall of Fame in 2018. But it is evident, Ryan told me, that her favorite accolades come each Saturday, as scores of people pour in from all over the world to see her, to tell her how much they love her, and to eat.
If that’s not an inspiring story of what one person can do with their life, passion and love – I don’t know what is.
Wherever you are in your life, and however you feel about yourself – know that it is never too late, that there is nothing from which you cannot recover, and that you can and will conquer your dreams.
I am here for it and just like Ms. Tootsie, I am rooting for you.
To your infinite rise,