How to stop being impatient and have more faith that things will work out
- Have you checked out the new episode of Coached, on how to beat impatience?
On today’s episode we are going to talk about impatience, and we are also going to talk about the antidotes – perseverance, passion and faith. Who couldn’t use a dose of those, right?
Listen in to realize, through our caller’s questions, that impatience itself disconnects you from the joy of the journey and all its amazing moments and lessons – and how you can stop succumbing to it and re-connect to your greatness.
- If you have not checked it out yet, listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-stop-being-impatient/id1467079024?i=1000507691761
- Need a transcript? HERE YOU GO:
- Keren Eldad: [00:00:00] The common man, praise. I want to cook you right now. And God responds. If you’d listen to what I say tomorrow, I’ll bring you a hundred cookies. Chris jammy kill us. Sophie. You’re [00:00:13] Voice Over: [00:00:13] listening to the coach podcast, hosted by coach Keren ELDAD, world-class personal and executive coach. It’s your show. We answer your questions and you get coached on any issue that concerns you.[00:00:26] Here’s coach Keren. [00:00:28] Keren Eldad: [00:00:28] Hey there, superstars. Welcome to a new episode of coach. The Collins show where you ask questions and I do my best to give you some coach certified answers. Yeah, this is your first time here. I’m so happy to have you on. I hope you love today’s show like everybody else. And if you do, please subscribe and give us your five star rating and a review.[00:00:46] It really does mean the world. If you’re a longtime listener, I hope you’re really comfortable because you are in for a treat today. We’re going to talk about the millennial favorite impatience. And we’re also going to talk about the antidotes, perseverance, grit, passion and faith, who couldn’t use a dose of those.[00:01:08] Am I right? Right. Let me start by asking you this. Were you one of the 62 million people who watched the Queen’s gambit on Netflix? I definitely did. And, you know, it’s funny. I love the show. So imagine my surprise. When I heard that the producer, Alan Scott said on the BBC, that it took him, he sitting down 30 years to get this show produced.[00:01:33] They had to go through nine rewrites and every studio that he showed this to again and again, said to him, they would rather pass because no one would be interested in chess. Is that bananas or is that bananas? You know, what I love about this story is not the happy ending that, you know, Queen’s gambit ends up on Netflix and it’s a huge hit.[00:01:57] What I love about this story is the perseverance, the passion, the undying belief by Alan Scott and his team that this was good and that they will cross the T’s and dot the I’s to cross that threshold. It’s actually a similar story. To the one I’ve heard about J K Rowling and the publishing of Harry Potter and many other super, super successes that went through trials and tribulation.[00:02:25] Since it’s the beginning of 2021. When we record this second season of coached, we can even turn to the story of the COVID vaccine for inspiration. Here is the story of a once dismissed idea that became the technology that created the COVID vaccine. It is, believe it or not a story that began three decades ago, just like the Queen’s gambit with a little known scientist who refused to quit before messenger RNA became a vaccine that is saving many lives.
- [00:02:59] It was a scientific dead end for the Hungarian, born scientist behind a key M R N a discovery. It was actually a career didn’t to. Her name is Katelyn Kericho and she is a scientist who spent the nineties collecting rejections, basically her work, which attempted from the very beginning, from a hunch to harness the power of MRN to fight disease was so farfetched that no one would give her even a government grant or a corporate funding, or even support from her own colleagues to develop this idea.[00:03:35] And yet the idea made sense to her on paper. At one point,she even managed to make her MRN a idea, work on mice and still even with experiments that were going pretty well. No one was buying it in an interview. She said, in hindsight, every night I was working, let’s get a grant, let’s get a grant, let’s get a grant.[00:03:56] And every time I sent them out, it came back. No, no, no. By 1995, she’d already been in the faculty of the university of Pennsylvania, where she was working on this for six years. She actually gets demoted. She’d been on the path to professorship, but since no money was coming in and nobody believed in her idea, her bosses decided, eh, let’s just give her a smaller job.[00:04:19] So this is a pretty big setback. And Kericho said she was tempted to leave. She was tempted to quit, but something told her to have faith in herself. At first, she thought maybe I’m not good enough and not smart enough, but luckily she really went to a place deep inside where she thought, but this is a good idea.[00:04:39] Maybe I’m just fine. Maybe all this is going to take is more time and better experiments. And even the opportunity to prove this. Well, guess what? In time, the better experiments came together. And after a decade of trial and error, Kericho and her longtime collaborator at Penn drew Weissman, who was an immunologist discovered a remedy for the Achilles heel for MRNE, which I would totally describe to you except I don’t really get it anyway, suffice it to say that whatever they came up with together.[00:05:12] In 2005, this was the starter pistol for the vaccine sprint to come. And even though the studies by Kericho and Weisman went unnoticed for a long time, they did eventually catch the attention of scientists who would later found Moderna and Pfizer’s vaccines. I think, you know, the rest is history. Not only has her work finally been recognized, it’s groundbreaking, but Kericho and Weissman are actually now being considered for the Nobel prize in chemistry.[00:05:47] Wasn’t that perseverance worth it. And beyond the Nobel prize, which by the way, I’m sure is really awesome worth the millions and millions of lives saved. I think so. I know that today we all want it. And we want everything to happen for us right now. But trust me on this one, you’re not ready to get it all.[00:06:08] You’re notready to get the benefits of everything you want. If you receive it automatically, you don’t want to take a beautiful cake out of the oven in the middle of the bake time. And that’s what today’s session is going to be all about. So with that, let’s go to our first color up first, we have Margo from New York city.[00:06:29] Go ahead, Margo. I’m listening.
- [00:06:32] Guest Caller 1: [00:06:32] Hi, Karen, I’d like to ask you a question today about impatient. I’m in the midst of starting my own business and I desperately want to see major gains and I of course want to see them quickly. When I don’t see immediate traction, I feel frustrated and often defeat us. How do I stay focused on my goal and come to it in terms with the fact that I need to live in the process without getting frustrated or telling myself I can’t [00:06:54] Keren Eldad: [00:06:54] do it.[00:06:56] Well, thank you for the brave and bold question. Margo, as an entrepreneur myself, I know how much courage you have shown just in launching your business. Give yourself some major credit you’re ahead of the game already. I know you feel like you’re behind the game, but already you can give yourself some snaps you’re way ahead of the curve.[00:07:13] Way to go. Margo. Now, I also want to tell you, I really do empathize. I know where you are. I know all too well, that feeling of I’ve been doing everything right? Where is my overnight success. So let’s tackle that and let’s temperate not only for you, but for everybody out there, who’s trying to start something new and big and worthy like you first, let me tell you from the bottom of my heart overnight success, not a thing, just letting you know, we are prepared in the process.[00:07:48] Of our creations and through the journeys. So you really don’twant overnight success. Anyway, again, like baking, we don’t take cakes out of the oven before the baking time has been completed because nobody wants a raw cake. Right. Margo second. I also wanted to know that the impatience itself, the connecting to thefear that’s involved in impatience to the lack of faith, disconnects you from the joy of that journey.[00:08:15] And it’s amazing moments and lessons. Ask anybody who’s had tremendous success, like the BGS whose documentary. I also watched recently on HBO, by the way, it’s awesome to the Jersey boys. Even to me, we’re all going to tell you the real magic, the stuff you remember, the stuff that carries you through the years.[00:08:36] Those are the moments when you’re creating yourself, discovering your magic, your sound, doing the work learning. This is where all the expansion and growth are. So I know it must be super cool to be on the cover of Forbes, but just be aware, it is not the hit that you will remember. Actually, interestingly enough, in the last week I met two NFL players who won the super bowl a couple of years ago.[00:09:00] I obviously had no idea who they are, but Ryan, my beautiful husband who loves football sure did. And uh, certainly recognize them by they done ginormous super bowl ringsthat they wear. And I asked them, what’s it like now that you know, you don’t play anymore? Do you do kind of wish that you could go back and play another Superbowl.[00:09:18] And the answer was no. Just want to go back and play. Just want to go back andplay. So if those points have landed, I want to give you extra pointers to help you close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, which is the only thing that’s causing you suffering right now. You think that where you want to be is not here right now.
- [00:09:36] And that is definitely causing frustration. I don’t think you should only rely on the fact that it’s good for you to not be there yet, and that you don’t want to take the cake out of the oven and get something raw. Those are very helpful, psychological tips, but I want to also help you to really shorten that gap.[00:09:54] So you don’t feel that frustration anymore. I bet you Margo. And a lot of people out there could use these. So here we go. Number one, meditate. You can close the emotional gap every single day. Your brain is so capable of imagination and visualization through meditation. That full success you want to experience is available to you.[00:10:19] Literally through your mind, you can do it right now. Here. I invite you to close your eyes for a second. See your success. Feel the accolades, feel the awards, feel whatever it is you’re going for in living color and give your brain proof. By meditating on the experiences that you’re having to the clients who do have the accolades you already have in hand the up on stage moments, you’ve already experienced the incredible results that you’ve had, creating the product you’re creating.[00:10:51] I know you have these just reflect upon them with appreciation in your mind and that’s it. A focused meditation practice is definitely gonna make a big difference. Number two. Focus on what you can control. And if you can’t control something, you’re like, let’s say that you don’t have enough money and there’s nothing you can do about it right now.[00:11:14] I don’t know. This is just an example, then don’t think about the thing that hurts. Why would you beat on something that already hurts? You’re going to create a big bruise. Instead, when you feel like you’re about to boil over with impatience, like you should be doing this, you should be getting that.[00:11:29] You’re demanding too much of the situation, which for sure hurts more and that’s going to ruin your journey. So instead look at something easier. What I mean by this is sometimes the best way to deal with a frustrating situation is to focus on something other than your brewing irritation. For example, when I was building my business and still worried about where the next client would come from, instead of annoying people with needless solicitation, forcing the situation, I relaxed with a good book or a great Frazier rerun works.[00:12:01] Every time when Oprah suffered the, what she thought was the loss of a role at the color purple. She checked herself into a type of, I guessshe called it a fat farm, but I’m guessing it was a spa and to focus on something else for a little while. And of course, she ended up getting the role MPS. I ended up becoming pretty successful coach.[00:12:22] So just find a way to ease, to soothe yourself, to latch onto appreciation, to find a way to feel what you want to feel right now. It is available to you. And number three, that brings me to the biggest one. Find appreciation for where you are. Nothing disconnects you from your greatness. Or from the greatness of what you’re creating faster than a lack of appreciation for it.[00:12:46] Appreciate what is going well in your life. Abundance like friendships, abundance, like a perfect, wonderful relationship with your child or perhaps with your husband or
- partner, appreciate the perfection of animals. Appreciate the wonder of being healthy in this day and age express, appreciation to others who are helping you along the way.[00:13:10] Even find appreciation if you can, for the delays, because delays are almost always creating something bigger for you. When you start to really develop this gratitude muscle, you’re going to see it’s all going to come together. And as a matter of fact, Margo, I happened to know for sure, for sure that everything is working out for you.[00:13:31] Thanks again for calling with that great question. Go get them at the very least, hear this. I was once not very long ago in your exact shoes and I’m here today. Pretty fast turnaround. You can too. And you will, if that answer satisfied you I’m really happy. And if you want to talk about impatience and motivation some more, we’re going to go to our next question.[00:13:53] Our second guest today is Stefano, who is calling in from London. Go ahead. Stefano. I’m listening. [00:14:01] Guest Caller 2: [00:14:01] Morning from London, coach. Karen, my question for you today is around the patients in particularly when you feel to add than what is needed and perhaps even more to accomplish your goal. And that does not materialize to overcome the sense of frustration in patients, not still having achieved lots of love.[00:14:25] And thanks for your thoughts. [00:14:28] Keren Eldad: [00:14:28] Stefano. Thank you so much for calling with that excellent question and calling all the way from London. All right. So let’s talk about impatience, where it comes to goals. When you really think that you’re trying to stick to the process, you’re doing everything right, but the results continue to elude you.[00:14:43] How do you stay motivated?What then? Well, we’re going to talk about grit and faith here. That’s the answer, grit and faith. Now these are very, very big words. So let’s talk about a great story. In addition to the fantastic stories with which I’ve opened, that may help you anchorin a big picture. That’s going on around here.[00:15:03] This is a story about Joe Biden, president elect of the United States who was supposed to take office 14 days from today. So it turns out Biden did a lot of things, right. But the best things that he ever did was show an enormous, incredible, unusual amount of patients. He was the youngest person of his time elected to the Senate.[00:15:22] So you think that this would be like kind of a straight shot, but it hasn’t been, it’s been a very, very, very long career and he’s had a very illustrious career since then he rented the democratic primaries for president back in 1987. He became Obama’s vice-president. And then finally at the age of 78, He’s become our 46 presidents, 78.[00:15:43] I bet you anything Stefano that there were moments where he thought exactly what you think, what does this doesn’t work out for me? When do I get my stuff? How can I stay motivated and go on the answers lie in two secrets to having grit and faith. The first is to believe in something bigger than you and your goal.
- [00:16:07] To hold that goal to a higher standard than just being accomplished or something to get done. I think that we should all consider that our goals are not to achieve stuff, but to become, become uplifters create light and be the best version of ourselves that is holding yourself to a higher standard than just getting stuff.[00:16:29] And that’s going to keep you anchored in the bigger picture. What you’re becoming is more important. Then what you end up manifesting. The second thing is to truly lean on faith, by understanding that it is surrender an act of surrender. If you truly believe that things will work out as they should, that God or the universe know what they’re doing, why are you working so hard?[00:16:56] Why not believe? And let things fall as they’re supposed to this way, you will allow not only your goals to come to pass. But even possibly turn out much bigger than you imagined what this practically means. Stefano is this, there does come a point where you’ve done your best and all you can. And in that moment, you’re supposed to let go and have faith.[00:17:15] The universe is going to do the rest for you. Now, I know you said you’re already working on your goals. You’re putting in their effort, but it’s taking a lot of time to see things go to fruition. So it’s normal. It’s understandable that sometimes you will get frustrated, but when this happens, think of the process as you would think of a pregnancy.[00:17:33] Maybe not each stage ofa pregnancy is comfortable, but they’re all necessary when you are creating the miracle of life. Similarly, you can choose to see every discomfort that you’re experiencing. Every delay, every issue as part of the process. Here’s the key. I want you to know that in life you can’t avoid the struggle.[00:17:52] You can’t avoid the time. You can’t avoid the process. And in fact, you actually need it. The process is what’s creating all the learning, all the good stuff. Doesn’t need to involve overwhelm. When we start to accept that striving can be good. Overwhelm really does become optional. And as you see, the process itself is a great joy.[00:18:13] It’s going to become the payoff itself and in so doing, you’re going to stop seeing overwhelming struggle and you’re going to start seeing more passionate adventure. So I really hope this served you. Thank you again for calling and I hope this served everybody else. This is a perfect time to introduce you to the very last.[00:18:30] Of our inspiring moments, which is offered today in how I live with enthusiasm submitted by Adriana from LA, check it out. I’m [00:18:41] Guest Caller 3: [00:18:41] Andrea from Los Angeles, I’m a writer and I get to tell stories for a living. And this is a story of how I live with enthusiasm. So this is the career that I’ve always wanted ever since I knew what a career was, this was what I wanted to do.[00:18:52] I came out to LA shortly after college and shockingly within just a few weeks, I landed a dream job at a studio. I’ve been in love with it. Since I was a kid and the rest of my life was amazing. Also. Not only did I have this awesome job, I had a super cute husband and adorable house with a yard and two dogs and a cat perfection.
- [00:19:10] Then one year. All of a sudden, all of it went away. I lost the job, the marriage, the house, the yard, and the dogs. I did get to keep the cat, my only solace. Oh. And this was also during a recession and a strike. So work felt impossible to find. I went from making a very comfortable living, doing a job. I loved.[00:19:28] To barely getting by doing the kind of sub-minimum wage survival job I hadn’t had since high school, I was making decisions between buying gas or buying food. And then one day I didn’t have to worry about buying gas anymore because my car got stolen. I was down to individual dollars in my bank account and I figured this is it.[00:19:46] I was a failure. I was going to have to pack it up and move back to small town, Texas with my parents and try to figure something else out. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t tell anyone what was going on and I didn’t even let myself do anything. I enjoyed, I just shut down and got ready to give up entirely.[00:20:01] And since I was so down and out, I figured I might as well try the most bananas idea I had before I left town. And that was to try. And go out and try to have one last good time. I went to go see a friend perform, and while I was there, I ended up connecting with a lovely woman in the audience. And two weeks later, she connected me with another dream job.[00:20:21] That job ended up being the key to so much learning and growth and development and experiences. And I even sold a television show based on some of the things I went through during that tough time, my dream life came back. I had the job, I had another super cute long-term partner. We had a beautiful house with a yard and a dog, and now.[00:20:37] Two cats and then it happened again. I lost the job. The relationship ended. Although this time I did have two cats to go with me and I was tempted to feel all that bad stuff all over again, to feel like I lost everything, but I had new tools now and I realized I didn’t lose everything. I wasn’t in a state of transitioning for sure.[00:20:58] From one job to newopportunities from one relationship to new adventures. Yeah. But I still had the grit that allowed me to move from small town, Texas to LA in the first place I had the skills that allowed me to do amazing work. I had friends, I learned how to communicate and connect with. And I had so much in my life that brought me joy.[00:21:14] And I had a mindset that allowed me to focus on those things that made me happy instead of the things that didn’t. So just like I bounced back before I did it again. And this last year has been intense, obviously with all the current events, but I’ve also had incredible opportunities and extraordinary experiences that I’m so.[00:21:31] Grateful for, and then the future. Sure. This cycle may happen again, but I’m happy to know that these skills and this focus and this mindset, I will come through it again, just as strong with even more stories to tell. [00:21:44] Keren Eldad: [00:21:44] Thank you for that, Adrian. I loved every inspiring word, and I know that you are inspiring others by telling your story to go for it, to be patient.
- [00:21:52] And to know that everything is going to come in, if you’re bold enough to stick with your dreams and you know why you want them. Which is to say, you know what you’re passionate about? That’s our show today, friends. I really hope it served you again. If you love the show, please give us a five-star rating and a review.[00:22:09] Please subscribe. It definitely means the world to all of us here. And if you have a question for our next shows, head over to www dot Karen L dad, to record. Yours.com. Of course, we’re going to feature it and answer it on an oncoming episode. I can’t wait to hear from you until then. Thanks so much for listening.[00:22:31] I’ll see you next time. [00:22:32] Voice Over: [00:22:32] Thank you for joining coach. Karen, would you like to have your questions answered on a future episode? Visit Karen L bed.com K E R E N L bed.com. And tell us about your challenge or issue until next time. Live with enthusiasm.
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